Sunday, January 12, 2014

A Shout Out To The Girl Who Said I Wasn't Gonna Be Shxt

I'm 16. It's 9am on a Monday, so naturally I'm in school. Today I'm wearing my favorite jacket and finally got my ridiculously curly hair to lay straight for a day...so it's a good day. I walk down the hall, saying "Hi!" here and there to those who want to speak to me...it's high school, kids are cruel and some would rather pretend they don't see me. I walk into my Geometry class, put my books down and start my weekend recap with the girls whose seats are assigned next to mine. 

We all chat about the movies, the mall, boys and then I get all excited as I recount my hair straightening dilemma and my new jacket. As the final words of my story leave my mouth, one of the girls, who had always been extremely opinionated and known for throwing her pseudo-wisdom around [I only say pseudo because we all know we weren't very wise at this time, as wisdom comes as a result of experience and how many life experiences have we had by the 11th grade?...I digress.] says, "You know Brooke, you're not going to get through life on your looks." Completely unwarranted. I simply answered, "I know," and looked away. Not that I didn't have anything to say, I just hadn't been properly trained in effective communication and had I opened my mouth I would have cursed a bitch out rather than responded in a sensible way. 

After years, you'd think this would leave me, but it hasn't, because although we were young, and God knows what her motivation was at the time, she was right. 

I wouldn't get through life on my looks.

I would get through life because I was more than my looks, because I was a determined, unrelenting young lady who had dreams that I refused to give up on. I would get through life because I had a group of people surrounding and supporting me to continually grow into a better version of myself. I would get through life because I knew there was more to life than that town, that high school and those people I saw each of my teenage days. I would get through life because I knew I deserved better. I would get through life because I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I would get through life because I don't run away from a "no". I would get through life because I chose higher education as a tool to enlighten and empower myself. I would get through life because there is a God who orders my steps and places my feet perfectly, exactly where they belong.

And yeah, as we all know. I am a model. So I'll end it this way...

I did not get through life on my looks, I recognized what I have as a gift, and we all have gifts, you just have to figure out how to use them. My gifts include, but are not limited to my looks. I will never be shamed into not acknowledging my beauty [we are all beautiful] and I will never be shrunk to believe that that's all I have to offer the world. 

Ciao. 




Sunday, October 13, 2013

A Post For Women: Use Your Powers For Good

Being a woman. It's just as difficult for women to understand as it is for men at times. Being a woman is one of the greatest gifts on earth but when one does not recognize her worth or mightiness of her gift...she often uses her "powers" for evil or gives away her power altogether. 

Story: Once upon a time there was a beautiful, strong, older woman who was very successful. All of the younger girls within the "land" she lived looked up to her, they wished to be her some day. She worked day and night, thanking herself often, sharing her success stories with others, especially the younger girls, yet never helping another. Not only had she not voluntarily helped anyone, she even refused help to those who asked of her. "Show me what you know!" they'd say, and she'd just smile a grand smile and find a reason as to why she couldn't. 

After many more years of working and success, the older woman could not figure out for the life of her why although she was successful, she had begun to plateau. Clients stopped calling as much, money slowed down and the younger girls had asked nothing at all of her, hell, they'd hardly acknowledged her now. The younger girls were becoming successful on their own now, helping one another, sharing with one another, practicing kindness. Meanwhile the older woman was trying to figure out what had suddenly gone wrong. How had she gone from being "the one to be like" to "the one to beat"? She was confused. 

With her newfound "regularity", the older woman found herself running into more and more of the younger girls, bumping into them at meetings, seeing them in the streets. She hated it. It ate at her that she was no longer on top and she felt stripped...of her status, her allure, her identity. 

One day, the older woman was asked to a meeting with one of her best paying clients. This was someone who had kept her in business for years, however, when she got to the meeting, she saw one of the younger girls was present as well. The older woman was FURIOUS. "How dare they invite the two of us?! I refuse to even sit in the same room with her!" she thought, yet she held her composure. The meeting began. Throughout the meeting the young girl gushed about how gracious she was to be in the presence of the client and the older woman who she had looked up to as she showed the client her "business ideas". The older woman watched and listened and waited for her turn to speak. The young girl went on for a while longer, seemingly impressing the client (the client smiled, took notes, took pictures)...this made the older woman feel threatened. Finally, the older woman's time to speak had come, and when she opened her mouth, the first words she uttered were those meant to tear down the work of the younger girl. She went on for a while, pointing out all of the mistakes in the younger girl's presentation, checking her materials closely for grammar inconsistencies and giggling at the novice of this "child". She felt confident that the client would see how silly it would be to even think of hiring this tadpole of a business woman (the young girl). After she closed, she had not realized that she'd not spent a second of her time presenting her plan. The meeting ended. 

The young girl then stood up, reached across the table and introduced herself as the newly appointed rep of the client. She had been invited to the meeting to give the older woman a briefing on their new policy (which the older woman had dismissed as "new-fangled" ideas). The older woman was floored.

Later that day the older woman was released from her contract with the. She slumped deeper into her business drought. All she could think of was "Why me? Why me?!?! They set me up!"

This was hardly the case. The older woman was simply dealing with the results of her own silly actions (but you could never tell her that). 

Does this story or the actions of the older woman sound familiar? To me, this is something we (women) deal with everyday.

Back biting. Cattiness. Jealousy. Envy. Immaturity. 

All of these stem from a lack of self worth, knowledge of self and most importantly SELF LOVE. 

A woman who loves herself, loves all women, loves everyone. To know love is to be love and is to practice love. In the older woman's situation, had she loved herself she would have lived in a state of love, allowing her to support, understand and even learn from the younger women around her. 

Moral of the story: LADIES, GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY! 

As women we have power. To know your worth (stop comparing yourself to others), to love yourself (stop looking for love from others), to be grateful (you don't have to be healthy or breathing! be appreciative!) and to learn from your experiences (stop regretting!) is POWERFUL. When you are able to understand this you are then able to tap into your powers for good. A woman who  is powerless, will always act the way the older woman did in this story...they will always "exude" confidence yet act out insecurities, they will always talk about "what they've got going on" without sharing how you, too could get there, they will always think pointing out your flaws will make theirs less obvious...get my drift?

Know this: if you are ever on the receiving end of this sort of behavior, don't get angry, get prayerful and pray that the woman slinging those insults and owning that attitude finds and learns how to use her power. (And if you can stand it...give her a hug, she probably needs it).

---Ciao. 

Friday, July 15, 2011

Il Bel Far Niente: The Beauty of Doing Nothing

What's life if we aren't continuously running like chickens with our heads cut off, killing ourselves to appease others or jumping through various hoops at once?...


It's exactly what it’s supposed to be...simple.

Life is a funny thing. You can either run it or let it run you. Now people often get this message misconstrued. When we speak of "running" our lives we usually get the picture in our minds eye of a person being in control, planning and executing their lives "properly" (according to society's standards). This is the exact wrong way to go about life...if you are looking to be happy.

Yeah, I know, we live in America, where success is happiness' closest cousin. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that as Americans, our society as a whole is usually wrong when it comes to lives simplest concepts. Happiness cannot be found in any thing.
We already have happiness; we carry it around with us, most times we just aren't sure how to tap into it, because we're so busy searching for it in things around us. I'm sorry to burst your bubble but, no, you won't find happiness in that new dress, in the bottom of that wine glass or even in the eyes of the man of your dreams.

Happiness is found when we are doing absolutely nothing; when we take the time to realize that when we have nothing else we can choose to have happiness. Its about changing the focus of your lens, minimizing the noise of your life and focusing on the silence.
This is why doing NOTHING is absolutely beautiful...and you should never feel guilty for doing nothing. Not only do our bodies need a 100% disconnect from the "goings-on" of our everyday lives sometimes but our minds need a chance to unwind and have nothing to think about...but happiness.

Thanks for reading.



Ciao.

Friday, June 24, 2011

"Resurfacers"

We meet a guy.
We date the guy.
We fall in love with the guy.
We fight with the guy.
We break up with the guy.
We forget about the guy...

...and he always seems so come back and weasel his way into our lives somehow...go figure. these are the guys that we call "resurfacers". ladies we all have one, or a few, and for some reason they always (without fail), whether its been a few weeks, a few months or even a few years -come sneaking back into our inboxes and call logs.


what gives?


i mean, ok, i guess it can be seen as a bit of an ego boost to have a guy who just can't leave you alone. but, seriously, sometimes you do just want to be left the hell alone. to me its sometimes offensive, like, HOW DARE YOU think that since you, i have yet to move on and have reached the point of desperation where you can just pop in and out as frequent as the seasons or your libido changes?


men.


so hard to figure out (within the complex mind of a woman). but if we dumb things down to the basic, instinctual mind of a man...its as simple as this. a guy will always come back to you for TWO reasons:


1. he's bored (and wants something to play with)
2. you're familiar (kinda like that old toy you're keeping around bc you just might need it 1 day)


i know you'd love to believe that he wants to come back and fight for another chance to possibly win you back, but hey, this is REAL life, not a straight to DVD Disney movie, and this is a real man. lets put together a simple scenario:


its friday night. he happens to be in the city that you live in, he doesn't want to go out, he's watched as many episodes of the office as he can stand. he scrolls through his call log. kimmy, well he met her 2 weeks ago and doesn't exactly know if its too soon to invite her out for the things he has in mind. olivia...well she's crazy and every time he calls her, she thinks they're back in a relationship. then he gets to you....you're like the perfectly tepid bowl of porridge to his Goldy Locks. Not too crazy, its been long enough that he feels ur not too clingy and you already know what he likes, because hey...been there, DONE that. so, he reaches out. 


And that, ladies, is at simple as that.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Fairy Tales.


Love. As a close friend once told me...its something that women have "big hopes for, they see stars..."

Which is true...I've had those hopes...and when you have "that guy" around (who of course is 'the one' because they all are) your skies are indeed a little more starry, your sugar a little sweeter, the sun shines brighter, chirping birds wake you from your slumber each morning and you ride a unicorn to work...

But let's be real...guys know about all of those hopes, dreams, wishes that we have, but they see them a different way...all of those stars become a little too bright, the sugar gives them cavities, the birds are annoying and the unicorn's simply IN THE WAY. So it seems that we can never be on the same page, we're always working double time & we just can't connect with a guy the way we wish to...because he's always "just not that into it" as you are *sigh*

Why?

Because we're different, us girls lead with our feelings and we have goals that we need to attain to feel complete as a woman that DRIVE our love lives and drive us crazy. Yes it's great to have a college degree, a great job, wonderful friends...but we still feel the need to be a great girlfriend, loving wife and good mother...so we're kind've wired to live the fairy tale. 
Yeah, I know, it's 2011...and we have progressed a great deal in other areas such as the workplace, etc BUT we are females, "natures nurturer" and no matter how much we have evolved, we'll never evolve out of our need to fulfill our womanly duties...and sadly enough we can't exactly do that without the help of a certain counterpart...


Men. We look at them and instantly become puzzled...how are they so cool, calm, collected...aloof? We're running around like hormonally driven chickens with our heads cut off and they seem to just be watching the show... Seems that men simply know that one day, in due time, with no pressure or rushing that they'll fall into being a boyfriend, husband, and eventually a father. There's no NEED, worry, or 2am freak-out will-I-ever-fall-in-love phone calls to his best friend...it's just not in their genetic makeup. They worry a lot less (if at all) about "finding the one" and focus more on building a life that makes them happy and stable...and if "the one" comes along, she comes. Whenever.


So what does this mean for us gals? That maybe we need to steal a chapter from the other team's book. Yes girls, we all want to fall in love, and we will, one day, if its meant to be...but in the meantime...the worry, the wait, the excuse making does nothing but waste time...as one of my favorite quotes goes:


"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."  ~Leo Buscaglia


One day the moon and the stars will fall into your lap...and little mice dressed in elf costumes will help you do your laundry...but until then...don't worry. Don't wish. Don't wait. Just trust in yourself, focus on building a life that makes you happy and surrounding yourself with positive experiences & people. 
-----------<3 ciao.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Sparkling Sidewalks

NYC...at night the sidewalks shimmer, like the smooth insides of a split pebble.

I'd know this because night time has been the only time I've had to take in the city lately. My long walks from work to the train, from the train to the gym or from the the gym to the grocery store are my mini moments of relaxation. Funny that the very sidewalks that I race through on my way to castings and are crowded with millions of lost tourists, overwhelmed nannies, and young hopefuls...are exactly where I find my solace, every night.



(photo kopeikingallery.com)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Small Word on Faith...


Faith. Having the unwavering belief in something that you cannot prove is real or will happen. The funny thing about faith is that it works. It’s said that we think and speak things into existence. This is true. At my lowest moments when I think things will continue to go wrong, they always do. 

Why? 

Because I focused my energy and without realizing forced my own fate.

Recently I struggled with a personal issue…and I thought to myself that for once I would take a leap and have faith that things would turn out right (instead of worrying myself to pieces) and guess what, they did.

I’m not going to preach, but I just want to put it out there; when you believe in something and put positive energy  and thoughts into it….nine times out of ten, good things will happen :)

-thanks for reading-

-----<3 ciao.